Jame (harrsch) wrote,

it just sucks knowing what youve dedicated the past 6 months of your life to is completely worthless

so basically, i've wasted the psat 6 months. honestly, with crew you think about quitting everyday. especially in the winter offseason, probably a few times a day. but you go through with it, and you go to the trainer for your back injuries and you dont have a huge social life because you're in bed early for practice everynight and you definitely dont party on thursdays and fridays, and give up all weekends and never get to go home and see family and friends. because in the spring, you're back on the water instead of hating life on the erg, and racing validates all the fucking hard work you put into it....unless something comes up and you dont race. like your coxswain quitting. so there are now 4 girls with no hopes of rowing at all. and you dont sign up for crew to be on an erg team, you want to row. nobody has the expectation to not row. if any of us had known it would've gone down like this, we wouldnt have done it at all. so now it's like, do i quit now and not put up with all this shit and the shit practices and try to salvage some normal fun college life that i've past up, or do i stay on the team, deal with this crap, and go to varsity next year where i will row. it's just a matter of can i tell myself it will pay off in the end and believe it, after getting screwed like this.

it just sucks knowing that what you've dedicated the past 6 months of your life to is completely worthless. and for those of you with doubts, yes, ncaa big east college sports do require an incredible amount of time and even more hard work. quitting now without a doubt makes everything worthless, but will it really be worth it to stay on? i drew a picture of my 4. we're pirates but have no boat, but we do have sweet eye patches.

i cant fucking believe this. i just need to believe i didnt sacrifice everything and work my ass off for nothing, i just want something. im not even asking to win at eastern sprints or anything, but i just want something where i can at least feel it pays off somehow, and i didnt waste 6 months, thats all.
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